viernes, 2 de junio de 2017

El caballero a lo informal como los americanos

     Era una persona tan buena y tan sencilla que no podía parar de hacer canalladas. La mitad de lo que brillaba en el sexo era su petulancia. Leía libros pero a lo bueno siempre lo llamaba alucinante, a lo malo, mierda y a lo sensato, total. Su mujer se parecía a Bette Davis porque miraba de frente pero hablaba de soslayo. Decirle a alguien en su cara que era idiota, maricón, falso y ordinario, le parecía una muestra de su simpatía más familiar. Asesinar lo consideraba el más claro indicio de un depósito de espermatozoides. No era capaz de entender por qué los pedos eran de mala educación. Cuando lanzaba una indirecta, parecía el Armagedón. Tener pudor lo consideraba absurdo y cobarde y ni siquiera tapar sus vergüenzas a los extraños le parecía imprescindible. Se sentía muy guapo, muy profundo, muy sano, muy competente y se pasaba la mano por el flequillo porque era muy pijo.

The gentleman to the informal like the Americans

      He was such a good person and so simple that he could not stop making dirty tricks. Half of what shone in sex was his petulance. He read books but to the good he always called mind-boggling, to the bad, the shit and to the sensible, total. His wife looked like Bette Davis because she was looking straight ahead, but she was talking sideways. To tell someone in his face that he was an idiot, a fagot, a fake and an ordinary man, seemed to him a sign of his most familiar sympathy. Killing was for him the clearest indication of a sperm deposit. He could not understand why the fart were rude. When he threw a hint, he looked like Armageddon. He considered absurd and cowardly to have modesty and even to cover his shame to strangers did not seem him essential. He felt very handsome, very deep, very healthy, very competent and he ran his hand through his bangs because he was very posh.

©I.D.S. & L.R.G.L.

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